Category Archives: Friday Forecast

Friday Forecast – 4th May 2012

Didier Drogba Chelsea Liverpool FA Cup Premier League

up up and away didier


This is our preview for the weekend ahead – ensuring that our views are set in stone to be proven wrong come Monday.

Pick of the Week

Look no further than the Cup Final, scheduled in the evening for 2012. Traditionally the biggest match of the English calendar year, the lustre of the cup may have dulled of late, but for many, Wembley in May will always hold a certain sentimental privilege. The romantics haven’t failed us in 2012, with a perfect script delivering two sides converging towards fresh beginnings and distinctly new periods in the history of their clubs.

Newcastle vs City runs a close second and is the easy standout in the league. Here’s hoping for the type of titanic struggle that many of the “bigger” teams have already produced this season.

Bet of the Week

We like QPR into Bolton @ approx $4 depending on your bookie. Both sides are at home, against teams with nothing but Caribbean getaways to plan for. Expect sincere desperation from the trapdoor-threatened protagonists; for losing money is a legitimate motivation for effort. A loss in this fixture for either club, could see a miserable denouement of failure.

It’s a big Weekend for…

Several candidates over the next 4 days, but we’ll opt for a combination of Steven Kean, Venkys and the stumbling embarrassment that is Blackburn. Formerly a European dynasty, this marks a deterioration towards everyone’s most hated club. It is a little difficult to fuel the embers of sympathy for a side that has been overwhelmed by protests from within since before the new year. Even a win over a resounding Wigan may not be enough – a shambles that even poking fun at has become tiresome…

Tweet of the Week:

The Woy Hodgson XI

Wichards – Tewwy – Wio – Warnock
Gewward – Wodwell – Bawwy
Wellbeck – Wooney – Stuwwidge


Best Article of the Week

That’s right, we also didn’t know Sol Campbell still warranted a formal retirement. Laughable really.

What you should be listening to

Before a week ago, the name Tito Vilanova meant less to FFTD than the new Minister for Health in Bulgaria – but it did rekindle a genuine love for an absolute classic. You’ll work out where Mr Manager’s name fits in…

Come back next week for:

Season Reviews, Transfer musings, Euro excitement and dumb analysis as usual…

Have a footballing weekend!

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Friday Forecast: EPL Y’allllll

Norwich vs Arsenal

This is a crucial relegation 6 pointer and both sides will be desperate for points. Arsenal are a shambolic Salmagundi (finally used that word) and Wenger’s grotesque flirting with RVP through the media, the smut is here, is getting a little like watching an old, grey haired, sleazy Frenchman and a Dutch-Nazi, see here, in Brokeback Mountain. Norwich’s Mr “whothefuckishe” Lambert has succeeded in adding to the glasses wearing collective amongst the upper echelons of football management. That success is particularly noteworthy.

6 nil to Norwich

(Ed: Arsenal are good now, 2-1 to them).

Everton vs Wolves

This is a genuine contender for worst match of the season. Noone likes these clubs anywayzz.

7-5 to the Toffs

Man City vs Newcastle

This is surely the beginning of the end for Newcastle, as you can see over here. Newcastle look snug and content at 3rd, but Super Mario has promised further ambiguous questions such as “howzit America?” and “Milan will you not not bid for me?” and this all means trouble for the TOOOOONNN. It also means trouble for the Sheikh, who has reportedly added fire insurance to his insurance against employee conflict. This is your best chance to see a fat, overweight Geordie shed tears. Or if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, you’ll probably get a few shots of Mancini’s sunsilk-shiny locks. But really you should just watch this as a sort of vigil to everything that is Balotelli.

Manchester City 9 Newcastle 5

Because we Love you

Because we Love you

Stoke vs QPR

omg this fixture actually exists?

Stoke -1 QPR 0

Sunderland vs Fulham

The biggest talking point in this game will surely be the Michael Jackson tribute statue and whatever happened to that idea? Did that thing happen? Please tell me @afishyoussuf on twitter. Or just shout really loud.


West Brom vs Bolton

Far and away the pick of the matchups this weekend, as a rejuvenated Trotters travel to the imposing fortress that is the Hawthorns. The baggies have been deadset rubbish of late, but the arrival of the hot and cold Bolton gives them an opportunity at arresting their slide towards the Championship. With (we’ve got) Long, Cox and big Petey O all struggling for fitness, the googly Cameroonian, Tchoyi, will lead the line against Mr Cahill, who has seen his market value go down faster than John Terry on F Capello (see what i did there?!?!?!?!). Anyway: boing boing.


Wigan vs Blackburn

This actually is a six-pointer, and just to prove it’s never too early in the season to label a game with this tag, Chicken Man Kean and Doc Martinez have slapped the $6 price point all over this clash. If they’d met in Round 1, media outlets would have touted the game as a “relegation dogfight” or other anthropomorphic analogies (think chicken-coup clash). Nevertheless, don’t bother tuning in – just check Surreal Football for the score on Monday or something.


Swansea vs United

Maybe they’ll push the Gigss and the Whale angle, but really, who cares…

Graeme Swann 0 – Yanited 1

Chelsea v Liverpool

Both these sides aren’t good enough to win the league, but will keep their fan’s hallucinations alive until some time past Christmas. Liverpool fans particularly, have become accustomed to perennial disappointment and despondantly walking the streets over recent years. The whole King Kenny ordeal is beginning to unravel with a Kafkaesque terror. Is this really the new and revamped Liverpool side to bring silverware to Anfield? Is that really a question worth answering?

Well if that question is too much to bear for some filthy reds, then spare a thought for the posh Londoners and their all conquering AVB (sic). Chelsea look toothless and every kid in Africa knows that their press and high line isn’t exactly paying dividends. With the nippy (but spectacularly unclinical) Suarez darting about, the Bridge could be the stage for the next hypnagogic (thank you Sunday in 2012.

2-4 (and that’s 4 real)

Spurs v Villa

With the Yids avoiding playing on Shabbas once more, bleary eyed Sydney siders will face another difficult Monday morning to catch any of this one. In truth, this is a fantastic matchup; a chance for Villa to bridge the gap to the more fancied sides/a chance for Spurs to distance themselves from mid-table. Defoe/Adebayor and Agbonlahor/Bent have been clinical in 2011 and the North Londoner’s new found religiosity should stand them in good stead once more.

Spurs to win.

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Goals of 2009/10

A special post that has seen a fair bit of inaction on footballfortheday. Drowning amongst youtube video submissions, PTS has emerged with his favourite goals of the year in chronological order. If you have a better one, then send them to me – or post them in a comment below!

Stankovic in Inter’s rout of Genoa way back in October

Genoa are on the receiving end yet again – and this time it’s Eden Hazard – also in October

This is less about the goal scorer in Xavi, and more about the incredible passing build up – West Brom and Socceroos PLEASE take note. Watch the player’s movement off the ball.

The Honduras star – Figuroa showed a bagful of vision in December

Arsenal riding high against Porto. It’s a shame Nasri won’t feature in June.

Lionel Messi had to feature somewhere – and it was tough to pick one out of several wonder goals. This one was from March.

Arjen Robben is one of world football’s form players and this is straight from the top draw…

This goal was crucial in Inter’s outstanding season and it came from the unlikely Maicon – my personal favourite. It happened in April

Fulham’s Davies gets a mention

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Nothing Much to Write About

Today’s Friday Forecast is the start of a long, dry spell for the Friday column. Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lotta action going down, but nevertheless, there’s still a few tidbits to cover.

Chelsea v Portsmouth – FA Cup Final

This is an epitome of the old biblical tale and modern day adage; David vs Giolath. There’s very little going for Pompei, who only have a long season in the Championship to look forward. With the majority of their squad looking for new options, it seems that the lower tiers of English football beckons for at least the next few years. This will be one of their last chances to line up next to the game’s elite – Chelsea. The Londoners have finally proven the doubters wrong and quenched the endless debate over which team is best in England. Footballfortheday’s own poll this week proved this very fact, with an overwhelming 70% of punters arguing that the boys from Stamford Bridge are a cut above. To be honest, we could just about leave it there. Chelsea and their fans will be in “party-mode” and the thought of the famed double is sure to send many a fan into a dizzy delirium. Don’t expect a similar result to what happened last week, but that’s not to say Chelsea won’t do it comfortably. If you have a better day job than me, then you can catch it on Setanta, otherwise BBC football offers a decent live commentary!?

Before we sign off on another week and start pouring over the hilarious junk that’s been emailed to us as submissions for Sugar Saturday (), it’s worth taking a brief look back on some of our posts. It’s been noted by a few readers, and yours truly in two separate posts, that many of the World Cup Previews that took an age to prepare have become crudely outdated following the mid week squad announcements of the participating teams in South Africa. Idiots like Domenech and Maradona have veritably fucked two of my posts and I’m not happy. But oh well, this is just an admittance of that fact, so don’t go running around dissing passthesugar! Obviously I’ve been looking at different astrological patterns to Domenech.

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Final Round Jitters

With the relegation saga drawing to a close (a round of applause for the gardener Phil Brown), the make up of the upper echelons a foregone conclusion, the final round of the English Premier League looks to be anti-climatic. The world will we sitting, waiting, wishing for a slip up (circle either or both Tottenham/Chelsea) to produce a few jitters. After all, the final day has never been without surprises.

Arsenal v Fulham

The gunners have long since thrown in the towel on another season that has seen them improve, but fall short. Injuries have blunted their campaign at all the wrong times, but the challenge from Spurs for 3rd will likely get them over the line. Fulham are resigned to mid table mediocrity and looking forward to their Europa League fantasy, Manager of the Millennium Roy Hodgson should give his fringe players a chance.

Aston Villa v Blackburn

Villa have missed out yet again and O’Neill’s upfront style is said to be wearing thin in the Midlands. Overall they’re probably left in a table position that by most people’s reckoning is just about right. Big bad Sam has turned another side into a dogged, physical lot and has been his usual self throughout 2010. Ewood Park has become a fortress, but away from home is a different story. They may have had their “final” last week with a victory over Arsenal. Two of the biggest whinging managers will hopefully add some spice.

Bolton v Birmingham

Refer to previous two… Owen Coyle took some time to settle at the Reebok, but has steered the Trotters clear of any final day nerves. Bolton are strong at home and this could be cult figure Gary Cahill’s last outing in the strip, as he’s been linked with several top clubs. It’s difficult to think that the Blues only came up this season. Alex Mcleish has worked wonders and his boys are sitting pretty in the league. Next year will be the real test, however, and I doubt they’ll offer much ambition here.

Burnley v Tottenham

Spurs have to win and that’s enough for me. The promise of the biggest competition in Europe should be enough motivation. The long-suffering fans from North London, however, will not be so confident and will surely be longing for a finish above bitter rivals, Arsenal, for the first time in 15 years.  Brian Laws at Burnley has been a miserable failure and will struggle to get anything out of their final appearance in the top flight for at least the next year and a half. The finances at Turf Moor are said to be stable, however, and if the Clarets manage to retain the majority of their experienced squad, a quick return in on the cards.

Chelsea v Wigan

As with their London neighbours, the equation is simple for Chelsea – win and the title returns to Stamford Bridge. Many of the players came out after their win at Anfield and claimed that a home victory to gain the title would be better than an away win. The experience of Drogba, Lampard and Ballack should be more than enough to swat away the butterflies and claim it. It seems no one has shut up about Wigan being only one of only a handful of teams to get the full 3 points against the Blues, but really that is only media spin. Mr Martinez and his hit and miss Lactics should be trailing within the first half. They are the tipper’s nightmare, however, as a team that could challenge anyone in Europe could turn up at the JJB and then a side worthy of League 2 play the next (eg against Tottenham)

Bet of the Day

Multi – Chelsea to beat Wigan @ into Chelsea to win the title (obviously) @

Everton v Portsmouth

This game is not a reason to so much as get out of bed for, let alone turn on the telly, or bother a write up. Nevertheless, the Toffees will look for a strong showing to cap off another over-achieving season. Several of their players such as the stylish Arteta will be looking to show their World Cup credentials for a last time, but really, there’ll be little to play for at Goodison. Portsmouth are about to kick off the Premier League fire sale of players and several of them will be looking to add a little value with a good showing. Avram Grant has become a fan favourite and his last game at the helm could bring a surprise result.

Hull v Liverpool

The two disappointments of the season face off at its conclusion. It is hard to say which team has been worse off… Hull have their manager on gardening duties (I’ll keep talking about that until I stop laughing), are relegated back to the Championship after only two tumultuous years and apparently they are bound for administration and player losses that would surely see them slide further down the divisions. Hull have lacked spirit and largely been uninspired. They’ll be desperate to give their fans a last hurrah. Anfield is a sorry mess. Benitez is set to go on an Italian vacation and many of their stars are squirming with unease. They’ve struggled at everything they’ve tried, whether it be League Cup, FA Cup, Europa League, Champions League or Premier League. They’re currently trying to sell the club and apparently their is nothing left in the transfer kitty to freshen the poor squad. Could this be the end of Liverpool as a top 4 side? Or is it only a blip on one of Europe’s most famous club’s history? Keep up to date with our write up here.

Manchester United v Stoke

United’s season has been hit and miss. Constantly looking like dropping out of the title race and then continually clawing their way back. It looks like their charge will fall agonisingly short. To save this from turning into a season review, the Red Devils will win here, possibly by more than 5, as they let out a lot of their frustration on the robust Stoke. It looks like Manchester will be titleless (titles that people actually care about only considered) over the world cup. Maybe a desperate Carrick or Berbatov will be looking for about 20 goals to save their careers at Old Trafford, but otherwise, nothing to watch here. Stoke are a team more unfashionable than your dad, but Pulis couldn’t care less. Recently, their blockade like defences have been breached with a number of off field incidents marring another highly successful campaign. Stoke should be in the league for a considerable time. (Unfortunately watching Delap and his throw ins will mar the league for at least another season.) Only watch this one if Chelsea somehow slip behind early. Watching United thwart a defensive team of Shawcross, Delap, Faye and whoever else it is will be agonising even for the neutral. As long as that prick Macheda doesn’t score the winner.

West Ham v Manchester City

Many of my City fans saw this as the defining game of their season. They simply refused to believe that a win against Tottenham would automatically mean Champions League football. Too many times have they suffered such heartbreak. Having lost at home, this game has lost importance, but if they harbour any hopes of 4th place then they’ll have to win. West Ham will be looking to forget about 2010 as soon as possible. A horror campaign saw them renew their Premier League status only last weekend. Following that, every player has been put up for sale except Scott Parker! West Ham have plenty of quality and it’s hard not to look at Mr Zola for answers. Expect Grant as manager, and Joe Cole to return next year, and the Hammers will be back challenging for Europe. Could be a draw here.

Wolves v Sunderland

Wolves could only classify their campaign as a success. Staying up was all they wanted and Mcarthy duly obliged. Without too much talent and without any flamboyance (comparative to Hull) Wolves stayed afloat for another year. This sets up two mouth watering clashes with the mighty West Brom next season and a dominance of Midlands football with 4 clubs in the top flight. Sunderland are dreadful away from home and dreadful at home. Darren Bent and Kenwyen Jones are add quality, and a few others such as Zenden and Cattermole have the pedigree, but without Bent’s goals they’d be down in the Championship. This will be the worst game of the season. DO NOT WATCH.

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